60 questions to get to know each other better, even if you think you know everything

We start with the past, because that's where the biggest surprises hide, even after years.

1. What's your very first happy memory?
2. What were you doing at 10 when you were truly yourself?
3. Which family habit have you reproduced without realising it?
4. And which one did you deliberately flee?
5. Who marked you most, apart from your parents?
6. What's the childhood mischief you've never confessed?
7. Which moment of your teenage years shaped you?
8. What would you have liked someone to tell you earlier?
9. What was your first heartbreak, and what did it leave you with?
10. What are you most proud of in your path, before us?
11. Which version of you from before would I have loved to know?
12. And which version of you from before are you glad I didn't know?

You think you share daily life, but each of you lives it from your own side. Let's check.

13. What's your favourite moment of our ordinary days?
14. What's weighing on you at the moment, even something small?
15. What do you need after a bad day: talking, silence, or a hug?
16. What do you do when I'm not there that I don't suspect?
17. What's your real relationship with your work, right now?
18. What are you looking forward to in the coming weeks?
19. Would you say you sleep well, honestly?
20. What's missing in your current life, independently of us?
21. What's your ideal balance between time together and time for yourself?
22. Which friendship matters most to you at the moment?
23. What would you like me to notice more often?
24. If tomorrow were a perfectly ordinary but successful day, what would it look like?

The set of big conversations. One theme per evening, no more, and let the answers breathe.

25. What are you afraid of that you never say out loud?
26. What do you think I think of you... that might be wrong?
27. What's your definition of a successful life, yours, not other people's?
28. What have you changed your mind about in the last five years?
29. What makes you feel alive, really?
30. What's the wound that taught you the most?
31. What have you never dared ask anyone?
32. What do you feel powerless in front of, and how do you live with it?
33. What would you like me to understand about you without explanation?
34. Which dream did you put away in a drawer, and it's still there?
35. What would make you cry with joy, honestly?
36. If you could ask your life one single question, which would it be?

Now that we're warmed up, let's talk about you two. These questions take stock without putting anyone on trial.

37. What's our finest achievement, the two of us?
38. Which moment of our story would you relive exactly as it was?
39. What made you stay, in the less easy moments?
40. What's your favourite way in which I love you?
41. And the one you miss a little, sometimes?
42. What do we do better than most couples, in your view?
43. And what could we clearly improve?
44. What are you proud of when you talk about us to other people?
45. What's the ritual of ours you never want to lose?
46. Which argument, looking back, was completely absurd?
47. What has our relationship taught you about yourself?
48. If our story were a book, which chapter would we be on?

We finish facing forward. These twelve questions sketch what's next, and they often hold the loveliest surprises of the game.

49. What do you want us to dare do that we've never dared?
50. What's your travel fantasy, even an unrealistic one?
51. What would you like to learn, and what if we learned it together?
52. Our life in five years, sketch it for me in thirty seconds.
53. What should we do less of, the two of us?
54. And what should we do more of?
55. What's the project that would make you say «right, let's do it»?
56. What do you hope for from us in the coming year?
57. Which tradition should we invent, just for us?
58. What do you want us to promise each other, right now?
59. What's the next big conversation we need to have?
60. And question 61... which one is it? Over to you to invent it.

If you've played along this far, you've collected surprises. Keep the habit: ten questions per evening, once a month, and your relationship will never fall back into autopilot. It's the same principle as the big evenings of couple questions, with the habit added on top.

One fun thing left to do with all that: find out who listened best.

And if these evenings become your ritual, there's enough here for months: the 100 questions to ask your boyfriend on one side, the questions to ask your girlfriend on the other.