75 questions to ask your girlfriend, to (re)discover her

The set that wins the bet about ten surprises. Some of the answers have probably changed since the last time you asked, if you ever asked.

1. What are you most proud of right now?
2. What are you missing these days, without talking about it?
3. If you could change one thing about your days, what would it be?
4. What's your favourite moment of the week, the one you look forward to?
5. What would you like to learn, right now, if you had the time?
6. Is there a dream you've put on pause? Which one?
7. What's weighing on you at the moment, even a small thing?
8. Who do you feel closest to these last few months?
9. What's the last thing that moved you, like really?
10. What would you like to do more often, on your own?
11. If you were given a day of total freedom tomorrow, what would you do with it?
12. What's changed in you this year, in your opinion?
13. What's your safe place, the one you go to in your head?
14. What have you been putting off for far too long?
15. What do you need right now that I'm not guessing?

The questions that get you talking about «us» without turning the evening into a relationship audit. Careful with the answers, they sometimes bring tears, in the good way.

16. What's your favourite memory of us, the one that always wins?
17. What did you think of me the very first time?
18. At what point did you know it was serious, for you?
19. What do I do that reassures you, without me realising it?
20. What's the most romantic thing I've done, in your view?
21. And the finest proof of love I've given you without knowing it?
22. What did we do at the start that we should do again?
23. Our worst disaster together... it's become a good story, hasn't it?
24. What do you tell your friends about me?
25. If you had to sum up our relationship in three words?
26. Which song makes you think of us?
27. What have you learned about yourself since we've been together?
28. What's our biggest difference, and does it still amuse you?
29. If we replayed our first date, what would you change?
30. What do you hope we never lose, the two of us?

Zero stakes, guaranteed. Just enough to have a good laugh, and to discover she has very firm theories about very absurd subjects.

31. What's your most clear-cut opinion on a subject of no importance whatsoever?
32. Which animal would suit me, honestly?
33. How long would you survive without your phone, the honest answer?
34. What's your worst embarrassment that you now own?
35. If our relationship were a TV series, which one would it be?
36. The weirdest thing you did as a kid?
37. Do you prefer me singing or dancing? Careful, I'll do it.
38. What's the worst present I could give you?
39. Which habit of mine do you find ridiculous AND endearing?
40. If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
41. What's your secret food crime?
42. We swap lives for a day: what scares you most?
43. What lie did you tell me at the start that we can confess now?
44. Bet you I don't know the answer: ask me a tough one about you.
45. What's the nickname you'd never dare call me in public?

For quiet evenings, when you have time. This is the set that turns «we had a nice evening» into «we talked until 2am».

46. What are you afraid of for us, if you're honest?
47. What don't you tell me so as not to hurt me?
48. What's your wound from before me that hasn't quite closed?
49. What would you like me to understand without you having to explain it?
50. Who do you cry in front of, besides me... and do you cry in front of me?
51. What did your parents pass on to you that you want to keep? And to leave behind?
52. What's your definition of happiness, the real one, not the one in the photos?
53. What have you changed your mind about these last few years?
54. What gives you the feeling that your life has meaning?
55. What advice would you give the you of ten years ago?
56. What have you never told anyone, not even me?
57. What's your relationship with money, and where does it come from, in your view?
58. What makes you feel truly loved?
59. If you could ask your future one question, which would it be?
60. What would you like people to say about you, a very long time from now?

The tender set. To be asked pressed up against each other, ideally.

61. When do you feel most loved by me?
62. What's the gesture I make that melts you, even after all this time?
63. What do you prefer: my words, my gestures or my little attentions?
64. What's your way of saying I love you without saying it?
65. What attracted you most to me... and is it still that?
66. Our best moment of tenderness, when was it, for you?
67. What could I do more often that would do you good?
68. Do you prefer a surprise weekend or a plan we prepare together?
69. What's the compliment I gave you that you've never forgotten?
70. Right now, this second: what would make you happy?

You'll notice this set opens doors. If you feel like going further into confidences, the intimate questions for couples take over from there, with the rise in temperature that goes with it.

The last five, quietly, are the most important. They check that you're heading in the same direction, and they're much easier to ask over a coffee than during an argument.

71. What would make our daily life even gentler?
72. What's your ideal balance between time together and time for yourself?
73. Is there a subject we avoid and should dare to raise?
74. Where do you picture us in five years, honestly?
75. What should we start together this year?

And after number 75? After that, you know the principle: what counts is the habit of asking them. Couples that last keep asking each other couple questions, regularly, the way you keep a fire going.